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[Tuesday
August 5th, 2008
at 6:50pm
]
chi non ha i denti vuole il pane
chi ha il pane vuole i denti
say hallo

[Thursday
June 12th, 2008
at 5:09pm
]
Natalia Ginzburg
Primo Levi
Cesare Pavese
Leonardo Sciascia
Antonio Tabucchi
Giuseppi Ungaretti
say hallo

[Thursday
June 12th, 2008
at 4:59pm
]
Talking to one person: you don't have the balls, love.

Other than that. I finished my French exams today. I'm not sure how I've done. I didn't study half as hard as anybody else this year so I probably haven't done that well, but as long as I haven't failed, I'm not *that* fussed. I know in my heart I can do better. It's just been a roller coaster ride of a year, and I've needed to learn about myself before I could focus on anything else.

I feel kind of subdued right now.

Last night I went to lie on my bed for a minute and ended up sleeping for ten hours.  I must have been completely exhausted.

Tonight I'm going to see the choir boy in the amazing a capella group that he's in. I'm really looking forward to it, I could really do with a break. I've already been for lunch at the bird and baby with S and A. It's the first time we've been together as a three for over a month now. It was nice but it felt kind of weird. A still seems really distant from me. I just can't decide for myself whether it's that we've grown apart or whether it's just that we know each other so well that there's nothing left to say. I just feel as though he's not interested in learning about me any more. He never asks me any questions any more or tries to initiate conversation with me. I feel as though I need to put a defibrillator on our friendship, but I'm not quite sure how.

It's strange. I always get incredibly close to people and then feel terribly distant from them. It's almost as though you put so much time and effort into building a friendship that once it's done it doesn't seem worth the effort to some people. Maybe I'm just being pessimistic, I hope so.

What I do know is that this time next Friday I am going to be incredibly happy. This year will finally be over and I'll get to go back to London. Then California will be in my sights and I'll finally get to do some things that I enjoy doing, for myself, by myself, with no constraints and no repercussions.
say hallo

[Friday
May 9th, 2008
at 7:35am
]
I'm writing about the fallibilty of human memory in Proust, but all I can focus on is the inevitable fallibility of human relationships, and how lonely I always end up feeling, inevitably.
(2)say hallo

[Tuesday
April 8th, 2008
at 8:37pm
]
Deja vu?
More like DEJA FAIT.
xo
say hallo

[Tuesday
March 25th, 2008
at 12:17pm
]
Just got reminded of a CD I got free with Kerrang! Magazine many years ago. This is when I heard The Distillers for the first time... quite a time before some others.
:)

DATE: MARCH.2002 LABEL: Kerrang CAT. #: KERRANG 0302
01. A - Took It Away
02. Pitchshifter - Down
03. Echobrain - Spoonfed
04. Lit - Everythings Cool
05. Bad Religion - The Defence
06. The Distillers - Sing Sing Death House
07. Fu Manchu - Hang On
08. Jon Spencer Blues Explosion
- Shakin' Rock N Roll Tonight
09. Dukes Of Nothing - War & Wine
10. 36 Crazyfists - Slit Wrist Theory
11. Black Label Society - Demise Of Sanity
12. 5 Five Point 0 - Double X Minus
13. Cyclefly - Crowns
14. Cooper Temple Clause - Panzer Attack
15. Ace - Back Up
16. Soil - Breaking Me Down
17. Decapitized - Babylon's Pride
18. December - Waiting For Rain
19. Alec Empire - Everything Starts With a F**k
say hallo

A thought or two on love, expressed by others. [Thursday
March 13th, 2008
at 2:01am
]
"Always! That is a dreadful word. It makes me shudder when I hear it. Women are so fond of using it. They spoil every romance by trying to make it last for ever. It is a meaningless word, too. The only difference between a caprice and a lifelong passion is that the caprice lasts a little longer." The Picture of Dorian Gray, Oscar Wilde


"Adieu, comme autrefois, dites-vous? Mais, autrefois, vous faisiez un peu plus de cas de moi; vous ne m'aviez pas destinée tout à fait aux troisièmes rôles; et surtout vous vouliez bien attendre que j'eusse dit oui, avant d'être sûr de mon consentement. Trouvez donc bon qu'au lieu de vous dire aussi, adieu comme autrefois, je vous dise, adieu comme à présent.

Votre servante, M. le Vicomte."

LETTRE CXXVII

LA MARQUISE DE MERTEUIL AU VICOMTE DE VALMONT
say hallo

[Saturday
February 23rd, 2008
at 3:30pm
]
November Rain


When I look into your eyes
I can see a love restrained
But darlin' when I hold you
Don't you know I feel the same
'Cause nothin' lasts forever
And we both know hearts can change
And it's hard to hold a candle
In the cold November rain
We've been through this such a long long time
Just tryin' to kill the pain
But lovers always come and lovers always go
An no one's really sure who's lettin' go today
Walking away
If we could take the time to lay it on the line
I could rest my head
Just knowin' that you were mine
All mine
So if you want to love me
then darlin' don't refrain
Or I'll just end up walkin'
In the cold November rain

Do you need some time...on your own
Do you need some time...all alone
Everybody needs some time...on their own
Don't you know you need some time...all alone
I know it's hard to keep an open heart
When even friends seem out to harm you
But if you could heal a broken heart
Wouldn't time be out to charm you

Sometimes I need some time...on my own
Sometimes I need some time...all alone
Everybody needs some time...on their own
Don't you know you need some time...all alone

And when your fears subside
And shadows still remain, ohhh yeahhh
I know that you can love me
When there's no one left to blame
So never mind the darkness
We still can find a way
'Cause nothin' lasts forever
Even cold November rain


Don't ya think that you need somebody
Don't ya think that you need someone
Everybody needs somebody
You're not the only one
You're not the only one
(1)say hallo

[Saturday
December 22nd, 2007
at 8:37pm
]
People are all useless. You cannot depend on anybody in this world no matter how important they seem to you.
say hallo

[Thursday
August 16th, 2007
at 2:32pm
]
Oxford 2007!
(3)say hallo

[Wednesday
August 15th, 2007
at 1:52pm
]
Results day tomorrow, I feel like my head is going to crack open.
say hallo

[Thursday
August 2nd, 2007
at 11:09pm
]
2 weeks.
(2)say hallo

[Saturday
June 30th, 2007
at 1:02am
]
I'm desperate to go out and do something new.

See something new.

I keep breaking everything off because I just crave something more.

Tired of the mediocrity of day in and day out.

I want to see something. Do something. Meet someone new.

I don't know.

Or travel back in time.

Something.
Anything.

Ideas?
(2)say hallo

[Friday
May 11th, 2007
at 6:16pm
]
I'm nearly finished the book I'm reading at the moment, and I'm just deliberating over which one I should read next.
I'm quite excited. There's a whole shelf of unread books yet.
French? Italian? English? Translated?
Just don't know what I'm going to go for.
A shorter book this time though.
(2)say hallo

[Friday
May 11th, 2007
at 12:28pm
]
I've ruined my synoptic and I have some kind of chest infection.
Joyous.
xooxoxox
say hallo

[Sunday
May 6th, 2007
at 5:56pm
]
Life is strange.
I feel like Septimus Warren Smith sometimes.
Connected by lots of little strands.
Sometimes you feel like you can't reach the end of those strands though.
Sometimes you just want to be that little closer.
Connect that little bit more.
Strange.

Listening to the Decemberists.

(1)say hallo

Mstislav Rostropovich RIP [Saturday
April 28th, 2007
at 11:03am
]
Mstislav Rostropovich RIP

say hallo

[Friday
February 16th, 2007
at 3:38pm
]
I bunk college far too much because I'm far too tired. I know you don't need to be in all the time (in the real scheme of things) providing you get your work done and you pull the grades out. I just feel quite guilty for it. I don't really know why.


I bought a copy of Ulysses yesterday which rinsed me out. I don't even have the time to read it yet. I actually have an addiction to buying books. I read the introduction though, and the first few pages. I just don't want to get too into it because I still need to finish Germinal. My gosh am I ever going to finish that book? I'm about 100 pages in. There are 400 to go. I need to dedicate more time to reading. I just hate having to share time out. If I use the internet I won't have time to read, if I read then I can't listen to good music. Sometimes I wish I could bi-locate.
(3)say hallo

[Thursday
February 15th, 2007
at 9:11pm
]
I'm just so tired.

Really can't be bothered sometimes.

Right now is one of those times.

Ireland. Saturday. Joy. Not.
say hallo

[Wednesday
February 14th, 2007
at 1:08pm
]
Happy St. Valentine's Day Everyone!


I ♥ You All!


xox

say hallo

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